It’s a sunny spring day, flowers are blooming, I’m wearing a sundress. He takes me to a park where he has set up a beautiful picnic for us. A red and white checkered tablecloth on the grass, a basket filled with all kinds of delicious fruit and tajin for said fruit, a charcuterie board, wine, a baguette. A trail of ants picking up the crumbs as a fucking bonus! No detail overlooked. The stuff movies and dreams are made of!
I’ve (half-jokingly) said many a time that I’ll marry the man who does this for me, no questions asked. Extra brownie points if he does it in Paris, I’ll even throw in my firstborn. Yeah, all of it sounds cheesy and cliché and very rom-comish but honestly, I really think that’s all it would take. I’m a hopeless romantic, what are you gonna do?
Please keep all this picnic jumbo jumbo in mind because trust me, it will be relevant. Spoiler alert: the picnic does happen. In P A R I S.
Poe sending me a message was definitely a game changer. I felt like I could no longer act cool, I just started smiling at my phone like an idiot, all the while keeping in mind he was around somewhere and might be looking at me. I urged all my personalities to keep it together.
Mo turned to me and asked what was happening, I showed him the message and he was in disbelief but just gave me that “play on playa” wink/smirk.
“We’re still here, near the entrance” was my very nonchalant reply.
I am not one to go without food so, after sending the message, I went to the bar to order some snacks. As I’m walking back to join Mo, with my hands full, I hear someone yell out my name. I looked around and saw Poe in all his glory across the room standing with a woman, he’s smiling and signaling at me with his hand to come over. I walked towards him and all I could think was “bitch you better not drop the guacamole and chips” and “why the fuck did you wear wedges?”. I got to where he was after what felt like a mile long walk. He introduced me to the woman with him who turned out to be his cousin, a renowned local visual artist that we shall call “Kubrick”. He gave her a little background story about how he knew me and he mentioned some of the things I could only assume he had seen on my Instagram, including some of my recent trips, what led me to believe he had in fact been keeping up with me via social media. The way he talked about me was very flattering, not gonna lie.
After a few minutes of chatting, I told them I had to get back to my friend and asked if they would join us. They did. We got to our table and we were all sitting there chatting, eating and drinking. Everyone engaged in conversation. Kubrick was very interesting, we hit it off immediately. After talking, we realized we had a very good friend in common, we exchanged numbers and made plans to hang out soon. Poe and I talked about my job, his career, my plans, his travels, our interests, our take on the current state of things in this country, his life in LA, etc. It was like talking with someone I’d known for years. It always feels like that when you vibe with someone.
As the night was coming to an end, Poe told us he was in town for a play that would run all of the following week. He gave us all the information and said he would love to see us there. Mo and I agreed to go and told him we’d be there on Sunday. We bid goodnight.
As we’re walking to the car (first of all I wasn’t walking, a bitch was floating) Mo was telling me how much of a great time he had and thanked me for inviting him. I kept thinking about how everything that happened that night was completely unplanned, nothing was orchestrated. That day I just wanted to get out of the house, I was not expecting to meet anyone and if you’d seen my attire that day, you’d assume so. I also thought about how Poe was this beautiful, shiny package with equally beautiful contents. He was attractive, sweet, attentive, talented, humble, cultured, and as if that wasn’t enough, he had the audacity to speak Spanish! He had me at “hola”. I was ripe for the taking.
The next day I sent him a message, short, sweet, and to the point:
“It was so nice meeting you.”
-“So great meeting you too! It was great getting to know both of you a bit. Hope we cross paths again soon.”
They say reading is fundamental, I say scratch that! Reading and knowing when not to read between the lines is fundamental…but it is also tricky and apparently I suck at it. You’ll see.
The following week, I had a nice little distraction from life called New York. I went away for a few days and it was magnificent. I remained active on Instagram for the duration of my trip, garnering some much welcomed attention from Poe in the shape of red hearts. I know the little red hearts only mean someone likes your meager attempt at photography/modeling, but you couldn’t tell me nothing! To me, those little hearts represented love in its purest form.
I got back from my mini-vacation in New York, only this time, I did not experience PVD but rather PVE (post-vacation excitement). I was going to see Poe again, I was going to see Poe perform on stage but this time, I knew who he was and he knew who I was. This time our encounter would be different.
Come Sunday, we learned of a dear friend’s dad passing and his funeral would be at the same time as Poe’s last show. This was a no brainer, Mo and I had to attend the funeral.
The next day I sent Poe a message.
“I’m sorry we couldn’t make it. We had to attend a funeral. I know we missed one hell of a show but I’m certain I’ll get a chance to catch one in the near future, be it here or on the West Coast.”
-“Hey! No worries. Sorry to hear about the funeral. Keep in touch Lola!”
Ok, so remember that bit about reading between the lines? Well, sometimes there is nothing between the damn lines to read! And what about that bit about making something out of nothing, remember that?
Brace yourselves because here comes the embarrassing part, the part for which I blame my friends. Yup, they’re the ones gassing me up and feeding my imagination when they know damn well it doesn’t take much for me to create these laughably absurd, hypothetical scenarios.
“Girl, he adores you!”
After our last message exchange, not much happened. I kept up with him via social media. He continued traveling all over the world and he would post a video or a picture every now and then, but only pictures of his shows and with friends and colleagues. The GF’s presence on his Instagram had noticeably declined.
I would post on Instagram and he’d be one of the first ones to like it. I would then proceed to make something out of nothing with the help of my enabling friends. Every like was a cause for celebration. And this is how you know I did not lie about having had a shitty two years in the love department, since every little meaningless gesture turned into an imaginary declaration of love ha! This plus the absence of the GF on his social media only further fueled my erotomanic delirium.
*Please take everything in this blog with a big ass grain of salt*
I was having a conversation with my friend “Sanderson” about Poe.
She was telling me that he was the kind of man she could see me with, especially since he met most he items on my “perfect partner” checklist. Sanderson has known me since my high school years and knows how much I want to travel the world. She mentioned how Poe would be such a great travel partner since he’s already traveled to almost every corner of the world.
“He’s been to so many places with his GF though, places that you want to visit. Wouldn’t that bother you?”
-“Yeah, you’re right. That’ settles it. He’s cancelled!
On second thought, I don’t think he’s been to Paris with her.
He’s back in!”
I cannot speak for other women, I can only speak for myself. And this is me being extremely honest and vulnerable so spare me the judgy eyes. At the risk of being labeled as and perpetuating the stereotype of the woman who is desperate to get married (which is so not the case), I will say the following: When I meet a man who’s easy on the eyes, attentive, charming, and shows interest, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. Most of the time, once I get to know him, things shift and I no longer wonder about a possible relationship. Aaaaand that’s when I put the bride magazines down, cancel my bride bootcamp membership, and binge eat.
Kidding!!
In Poe’s case, it was different. I didn’t get to know him. Our physical interaction, while amazing, it was very brief. He made a hella good impression and that’s all I was left with. I guess I wondered what it would be like to really get to know him.
The morning following my conversation with Sanderson, Instagram had a little surprise for me. No, not a message from Poe. It was a message from the universe.
Remember the picnic?
I opened Instagram and the very first thing I see is a set of pictures of a beautiful grinning Poe in Paris with his GF, enjoying a nice little picnic under the sun. In the picture you could see cheese, prociutto, wine, and a freaking baguette! A baguette, you hear me!?
I may or may not have zoomed in on the picture to see if there was a trail of ants.
Long story short, I love picnics.
Seriously though, what I learned from my short-lived, one-sided romance with Poe was that there are still picnic kind of men out in the world, that women can and should expect romantic gestures if that’s what they like, that men can be genuinely interested in striking up conversation with a woman and still remain faithful to their significant other. That’s what I want, that’s what I’m waiting on.
If you’re wondering what’s happened between Poe and me, all I can say is that I still get those ego-feeding red hearts but I no longer get a false sense of romance from them. Am I still attracted to him? The man is beautiful, who wouldn’t be attracted to him. Do I blame Instagram for all this? Yes, everyone knows a red heart is the universal symbol for love not like.
I have put Poe back in his beautiful, shiny package in hopes of one day getting to see the contents again. In the meantime, let me tell you a story about an author who’s also an award-winning poet. It should be fun coming up with a name for him…it needs to be perfect, I wouldn’t want to miss the mark.
mex & the city 